Slightly late but here now...Eurovision live blog

Okay we're underway in Sweden. Our hostess is dressed in an understated hot pink tent number..after a quasi-Olympics ceremony style entry of the artists. It can only get even better.

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'May the best song win..let the competition begin'.

I'm thinking that the hostess may not have actually seen Eurovision before. France up first, they last won 36 years ago.

The BBC Eurovision socrecard has been re-instated and is available in basic and superfan versions. France are giving it some Tina Turner to begin with

If The Killers wrote a Eurovision entry this is what it would sound like, and he has some very curious lyrics in the chorus...he appears to be singing 'Because of my shoes' something then happens relating to love and life.

Hmmm.

Forgotten how brilliant this all is!

Coming over all Katy perry ... She married a girl and she liked it.

Should have it in the bag, unless the kiss upsets a few countries. I think it's a perfect Eurovision song. My favourite is the Netherlands but I can't see that winning.

Clearly can't afford to host and are taking no chances with their dull as ditchwater entry

Best so far and certainly true to the spirit of Eurovision.

The GLW has started without me.

Should see me through. Hang in there everybody

I expect the songs to get better with each glass I drink.

Dull song but some ladies grabbing their crotches. In the semis they were revealed as his chaperones. Allegedly.

It's bottles - if not cases - we're going to need!

Still wearing the fetching curtains she had on in the semis

Quite like miss Belarus who is wearing....not much

According to the FPO!

...but I agree with them!

His name is Jeremee
He's working in IT

Bob Dylan eat your heart out

Nicet song uke and acoustic bass. And got IT and risk assessment into the words

Lovely.

lol. anyway...Bonnie must be the oldest singer there?

A live thread is for everyone !

Dull

carbon copy of last year's winner.

For plagiarism of last years

Surely the most surreal story of this year. Armenia's entry penned by sabs man.

Sabbath Bloody Sabbath

....currently leading in the Best Beards category.

Good to see Status Quo still gigging

First out-and-out dud.

Bonnie might do well after holland and Armenia stinking the place out

Bloody gorgeous but bloody nervous

Didn't get the Boom-Bang-A-Puppet-On-A-String memo then?

If if if ... but where are your answers, beige woman tell me that.
Oh, and Armenia - go go gadget eyebrows.
France to win so far, or maybe Belarus, but she got extra points for the legs. Wine is now being taken.

WTF

Dracula meets Ming the Merciless.

Wow.

Dracula - the gay disco years.

WTF. I have had a hernia laughing

Worth the licence fee by itself

I think Romania have the castrato vampire vote sewn up.

Romania blow the bloody doors off

Ok - who spiked my Viognier?

A bit tame after that

with massive dresses, this year.

Loved the neon dildos behind Mr Romania.

not bad euro song. Stevie Nick's racy mum

looks like her own racy mum these days!

It's no "Total Eclipse" is it?

...have beaten The Count?

First time I've heard it - I like it but I don't think it will get there. My money is still on Finland or maybe Romania, which is just nuts enough to win it. Time for another glass.

low teens finish my prediction

but she nailed it imo

but this thread is very entertaining in itself.

I travel a lot in E Europe . Each Saturday wherever you are it's either Bonnie or Joe Cocker. She is huge! (No fattest jokes, please). If she doesn't win then my name isn't Michael Caine.

...Hungary. Who are these people and who let them out?

Quite sweet but no chance

Possibly because he forgot to put on his strides.

He's got David tennent eyes

Kim Carnes?

Hopefully Norway as it was written by Karin Park who made one of my favourite albums ("Highwire Poetry") of last year.

Danes up

could have forked out for a decent hair brush?

Forgot her shoes.

Did she really just give the flautist a blow job?

To the Danes . Brutally efficient euro track. Programmed to destroy

Rick Wakeman lives!

Icelandic not really the language of love. More like gutting fish.

Bit of Katrina & The Waves going on here. It's worked before.

Jesus H Christ.

The box!

Let David Blaine in?

I'd like to issue a health warning, the brown acid is definitely bad

With his dark side

I forgot about them - this is what it's about!

on the bloke singing about his shoes from spain early doors

"Not sure if the man in the box was dancing or if he'd just run out of air..."

Tons of fun!

last. Feeling fairly confident.

They'll be top ten for sure!

....this is overkill to avoid being next year's hosts.

Excellent!

< insert obligatory quip about them not being able to afford to host it next year should they win here >

Did I really just see five Scots guys pretending to be Greek, completely pissed and wondering how on earth they got to Stockholm.

kilometres out, because Eurovision is being held in Malmö.

After a strong run of songs this is dull Maria Carey lite

Nice suit...shame about the song.

Against some tough opposition that was the most forgetable of the night.

Maybe it's just my acid comedown but last few songs have been awfully boring?

Early 90s big dance number. The drummer is really into it

dodgy SF film theme....probably based on a game.

Best song by a mile, but Eurovision enough to win?

....Russia and Denmark. I'm torn between the Disco Dracula and the Greeks in Skirts. Odds anyone?

models. (Not a sentence I usually write)

Ray winstones head between the songs. Bet live in play now....time of next key change..

Real tattoos or body paint?

You have no idea why you booked that two week holiday on a cruise ship. It's Day 11', you dress up once more and once more enter the ballroom. Oh fuck, it's them again

...I've been there.

Joe's boy giving it large. Sadly to little purpose.

Has picked up then. Last year it was jedward

good, but it is no My Lovely Horse

27 pints of Guinness and a couple of spliffs later you're pretty sure you've devised an act that ensures we won't be holding the final in Dublin next year

Time to predict the winner I'm going for Bonnie. You have about 10 minutes to Save The World

...but I'm pissed. Bonnie to be in the Top 10.

Though my vote would go to France (followed by Belarus or Romania, with a nod to Hungary and Greece.)

Your votes? I think Romania has the house here

Closely followed by Finland and Norway.

If Greece win next years show will be in Berlin

:-)

But I liked Denmark, Norway, Greece, Belarus

Hungary, Ireland, Moldova, Finland, Germany and Ukraine (even though I normally hate That Kind Of Thing) weren't bad.

Romania was just too mad to judge.

Which probably means Russia or Georgia will win.

Maybe I'm better at this predicting than I thought?

2. Norway

I'll go Denmark, Georgia, Norway....

Have wasted the Riverdance slot on last years winner doing dull eurotrancepop

... is on Denmark

it wasn't that clever. Reminded me of Diane Vickers!

Finland, Romania or Greece, though I'd like the Netherlands

that a young Kate Bush I've just seen?

Bonnie will finish 11th

Bonnie is nowhere sadly

Is now in white and blue for the awesome responsibility of the voting

Not the act. More embarrassing than any of the acts. Just realised she is dressed in ikea colours

...it ain't.

that yellow and blue are the colours of the Swedish flag, and that's where IKEA lifted them from.

This may be the worst thing to ever happen to Eurovision. She is trampling on our dreams

was the best bit so far.

.

But Norway was best, then Malta.
By the way, sorry I'm late - I was catching up on Sky plus.

Sang abba this is what it would sound like

worse than the original?

For our hostess

But my son has pointed out the Swedish rep looks like a final fantasy character

...was the only clue to the gender.

Fantastic bleached denim shirt with studs on the shoulders.

Then he ruined it by giving 12 points to Italy.

Polling strongly already

No points to the Norwegians and ten to the Russians?

Seriously people?

Runaway for the little match girl

What's wrong with him?

Bonnie is dropped already

Tactical voting is taking effect

More a question of expat communities and shared culture. Surely the four votes the UK got from Spain were from Brits living there rather than Spanish Bonnie Tyler fans?

And azerbaijan polling welll; I'm baffled. Which is half tthepoint of watching.

The little song that could! Doing well in fourth

...another bottle. This makes no sense - but why should it?

Which is just as well they are bossing this

So UK and Ireland in the bottom two slots.

Daily Mail warming up for outraged editorial...

saved by the Spaniard's and their host with the "interesting" dress.

I did not see that coming

This is shit. I knew it would be shit. It is more shit than I thought it would be. Most of the "young" people on this show are complete twats. God help us all, we as a civisation are completely fucked if this is the next generation. My dog has gone to bed in the kitchen, he can't take any more.

but the show's great isn't it?

than people saying "hashtag" out loud a part of a conversation?

Kraftwerk vs daft punk vs radio head ..... Lets remember it was cliff and not the Beatles who repped for us in the sixties.

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